It's been exactly 6 weeks since the start of my vacation-- weeks I can't quite take back (just for the sake of making better use of my time), but there have been several moments and events that I've fully enjoyed. I've still got 12 more weeks of vacation (dear God!) and I hope to make the most of it by investing my time with the people and things I love! Before I escape into the world of college, I still hope to make the most of my music lessons, attend concerts, create, record, and make some new music, and travel to as many places I can. Oh how I love being on the road...
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Two weeks ago, I helped a fellow classmate (and super talented singer, I must add) with leading her church's faith camp in the Music Team (we coined ourselves "Pandamonium" since the entire camp was called "Panda Mania" where "God is wild about you", oh goodness...). It was a week-long and, I must say, although the entire idea seems off-putting, being surrounded by those kids' smiling faces and playing music all morning with and for those kids was so enjoyable. It's kind of funny, because the entire event was sort of a reality check for me, which is why I'm entirely grateful to have had that opportunity to make good use of my mornings (instead of sleeping in 'til 1pm). Going into camp, I had absolutely no idea what to expect-- and to add, I didn't exactly know anybody there except for Lauren herself and Aaron (the pianist), who graduated years before but is friends with friends I know. There's something about newfound friendships that are so comforting... I'm just so glad to have gotten closer to these people and meet some new ones along the way.
The entire week, I hitched rides with Lauren's family before and after camp, and can I just say that the Connolly family is ever so adorable? Seeing the way they interacted with each other and the cuteness between Lauren and her little sister... Every car ride felt like such an adventure! Showtunes are constantly playing and random familial conversations are happening that just put a huge smile to my face. Her family is so nice and alive and is constantly talking; it's so heartwarming because it's kind of the family I never had. Growing up with two older brothers and a quiet mom (and grandparents), I guess you could say my home has always been very quiet, especially with my brothers having gone off to college. When we all are home, we usually invest ourselves on our own things at home by watching TV, going on the computer, going out, etc. Her family seemed like they have so much fun together, and talk a lot haha (which, for me, is always something I've enjoyed since I'm not much of a talker myself). It was a nice change-- and to see the interaction between her family and the rest of her family and relatives all over town since they live so close was so heartwarming. Not only was it a sense of family, but it was also a sense of being in a community. I've always loved that, and I'd love to have that sort of family when I grow up.
Spending so much time with Lauren and even sleeping over her house (might I add we're not entirely close and have never really hung out or talked to each other much-- we've only really talked about wanting to record together someday) somehow brought me a greater awareness of what I haven't had in a long time, and what I had missed. Old friendships that I've lost touch with from my childhood came into the picture. The years growing up with each other, the countless time spent with each other celebrating birthdays, Christmases, watching movies, sleeping over... It's irreplaceable, because these are the people you've grown up with. Being with Lauren's family reminded me of how much I miss that. It reminded me of how kind other peoples' families truly are, and how there is so much life going on out there. As I've lacked good friendships my past 4 years at Carondelet (which includes the sleepovers and girl-talk and friends' houses to go over to), it was refreshing to be able to have that again. And, I don't know how I could say this in a more gentle way, but, it also reminded me of how white I really am-- hahaha! I've grown up with and in a white community all my life, and my best and first ever best friend was white. Being close to her family as if I was a part of her family was so comforting, whether I knew it back then or not. This entire experience makes me wish I had made these friendships so much sooner (but, I’m pretty sure anyone on Kairos would love to say that, haha). Of course I've always been grateful for how everything has panned out, it just would’ve been so much nicer... because a part of me that I hadn’t even realized was missing—an essential part of what I had adored growing up, but never knew it—was found in this experience with Lauren and her family.
Whether it was the kids' shining faces bringing back a sense of real joy, or the music that I missed playing and creating and time invested in it, or the unity and camaraderie of family that I saw, admired, enjoyed, and adored so so much… I’m very grateful for whatever did happen that week, because something that’s been missing in me for a long time has come back, and I'm ever so thankful for that. And for that reality check-- isn't it funny how hard you can be on yourself when it comes to the talents you wish to pursue? After I played guitar all week-long and for 2 masses that Sunday, people were telling me, "You're the best guitarist we've ever had!" and, "All the other ones who've come couldn't play well..." Not to humble myself, but I really had no idea what the heck I was playing (especially at the mass), since I played everything on the fly. I came 5 minutes before mass started and was told to follow along with the arrangements and play the sheet music (with chord names above). I didn't do half bad but I sure didn't feel entirely confident or sure of myself... And I still received that feedback. Maybe there's something I have with the guitar that just makes sense and "clicks" that others don't exactly have... I know my guitar teacher has praised me well over the years of how quickly I catch on, but instead of being so hard on myself, maybe I should pride myself on how well I can actually play... and how much potential I still can accomplish.
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The day after mass, I was able to finally see my best friend Ayana Giann after weeks and weeks of not seeing her since graduation! It's oh so nice to be able to come back and reconnect, and feel as if a large gap of time never broke your friendship. All you need is to catch up, converse, and make music-- what it is that brought you two together in the first place. I can't exactly describe how thankful I am to have created this friendship with her. I've no worries about my friendship with her, because we both know that we'll always be seeing each other in the future. We'll have coffee together after work and we'll talk about the children and family and relationships and work jobs... We'll be babysitting each others kids and giving them rides to places... We might even play music for our kids. LOL hahahah! I can't even imagine 'lil old Rachel and Giann as mommies doing that. (I don't want to picture that... I'm entirely terrified by the thought as of now!)
There's something so beautiful about having a best friend. After so many years of lacking friendships and feeling so ever alone many times, it's so nice to have this. I'm afraid I did take our friendship for granted in the beginning years (there were just so many things I was caught up with each year!), but I'm still grateful for how our friendship has panned out. November Kairos--although we purposely avoided each other--really put things into perspective for me, as I was able to truly value our friendship and see what truly lies around me. There's nothing to be afraid of... Anyhow, enough reminiscing!
We've discovered many new upcoming songs to cover. How about I admit that "I Need You In It" because I'm gonna "Make It Mine"? :) But, for now, please enjoy our "Lovesong" to you,
~
After sleeping over Giann's house, I went home around 6pm, got ready to take a family portrait for my church (which didn't end until 10:30pm or so), ate Pho with my family, then went home to pack for "The Voice" as my brother scored tickets for it last minute. Yes, that's right, I was going to "The Voice" finale to support Dia Frampton for one last time before her stardom begins. Words cannot even describe how grateful I am for Meg & Dia for not only helping me throughout middle school and beyond, but for also shaping me into the person I am-- and inspiring me all the same to pursue my real wants, dreams, and passions in music and literature.
I felt gross as ever, but I went to my brother's apartment in San Jose around 12am or so and went to sleep at 2am or so, waking up at 5am that morning to leave with my brother's friend (and fellow Meg & Dia fan/"boardie") and his sister. Funny, brother-sister and brother-sister, haha! We left for L.A. at around 7am and arrived in Burbank by noon to eat. Goodness, I better get used to those rides. We stood in line for 4 hours (yes, that's right, 4 hours!) because I had General Tickets as opposed to Priority Tickets (who get in first), so the earlier we got there the better. After 4 long grueling hours of waiting there with everyone else, they admitted us and Anthony and I got to stay in the "pit", right up close to the stage. It couldn't have been any better, and I couldn't have been any more energetic. hahaha. Funny how Hollywood is so fake! "Clap above your head! Shout, cheer, applaud! Have tears running down your face! We need energy!" Goodness, fake energy and crowd support for such talented performers. It's too weird, because they're so talented but we're applauding them in such a fake and superficial manner. Catching a live TV taping sure is fun-- but I don't think I could ever do that again! Too much of a hassle, I swear. But 'twas fun and definitely worth the hassle. We ate dinner around 8pm or so (after the show), then headed straight back home from L.A. So much driving in one day! Haha, we're crazy. But that just shows how dedicated Meg & Dia fans we are. I love it. We arrived back in San Jose around 1am and I didn't go to sleep 'til much later.
Here's what I had to say after that night:
"Dia Frampton, I'm so very glad I made it to the live finale taping earlier tonight. The sleepless night, 12-hour drive, and 4-hours in line was well worth it (! Seeing you again just reassured all of my foremost feelings. Coming back down to give us a handshake (I think you stared down my Chandler the Robot cocoon!) just truly proved to me how you've never really changed. You're still the same Dia I've always known, still reaching out to her fans, even at "The Voice" (oh boy how I would've died and cried in that pit if you won!)
3 sleepless nights, 12-hour drives in one day, greasy hair, no showers and sweat, filthy mouths... It was all so worth it. I think I know what it'd be like to tour all the time, haha. I haven't slept in my own bed in so long, but oh how I could get used to it as long as I've things to do! ...minus the no showers. Oh how the power of a guitar and music can move you places--literally!
Jade (one of Meg and Dia's younger sisters) wrote such a well-written post about her personal experience with Dia's journey on "The Voice". Here's an excerpt:
"Dia, the goal of the event was to spread the word about you. It was to help “The Voice” in letting people hear your own voice. It was about reaching out to people and letting them experience the little miracle that you bring to the world. And, unexpectedly, I was presented with a whole network of people who enjoy and appreciate what you do. And, unexpectedly, they showed me what music can do. I forgot about how powerful one voice can be. I forgot about how one voice can turn into thousands. Thank you for the reminder."
Here's an interview written about Meg Frampton on when she went to a live taping. This coincides with everything I felt that night:
"Twenty-six-year-old Meg Frampton, Dia’s sister and fellow band member, was pleasantly surprised when she went to attend a taping of “The Voice” for the first time and saw her sister unchanged by her newfound fame. “You’d think she would be decked out now that she is becoming ‘famous,’” Meg Frampton said taking to her blog Chandlertherobot.blogspot.com. “I half expected her to have glitter on her eyes, perfectly manicured nails, and those sky-high heels that are so trendy in California right now, but she didn’t. Just like her usual self, she wore a pair of scruffy navy blue sweats … and not even a tad of makeup.”"
This is how I know she hasn't changed at all. Dia's presence on stage was so familiar. Her mannerisms (like always) coincided with mine, her coming to greet us and recognizing my "Cocoon" necklace... It was so comforting to finally have closure with Dia's presence on "The Voice". I've been so afraid for so long that that intimate relationship with Meg & Dia's fans would be lost, and, as much as that may happen, I can say with confidence that they still will be who they always were to me. They've valued their fans so much over the years that the "boardies", or hardcore fans, have almost become like family to them. That, or Meg & Dia has become a fan group, haha. But it's ridiculous how incredibly dedicated and passionate Meg & Dia (and now Dia) fans are-- I've never met any other sort of fan base. Dia is in such good hands now, thanks to "The Voice" and the people she's met (most especially the sweet Blake Shelton!). I'm growing as much as they are growing-- all at the same time. It's time to let them go into the world to touch other people, just as they've touched me. This day sure was coming for them, but I'm glad I was there to witness the ride. This band has provided me with so much, and really started it all for me... This is both our our break-out periods.
My week started with playing music for a church camp to making covers with my best friend, to ending with the one who started it all for me... It couldn't have been more perfect.
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